The Divine Deathfeatured
Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte
(Our Lady of the Holy Death)
Santísima
La Niña Flaca
La Hermana Blanca
Woman of Night
Grandmother
Mama
Thank you.
____
Throughout my childhood & adolescence
were incessant reminders
of Death’s presence
in my hometown of Detroit, Michigan
monuments to the Departed
adorned posts on every other street corner.
Within my first family unit
I witnessed my relatives lose
pieces of themselves
Frequently told were stories
of parts lost
long before I came to be.
once cherished connections
burned away or decayed
beyond recognition
Too many left their bodies behind
long before I expected
or wanted them to.
My introduction to life on Earth
was colored by frequent experiences of
loss & unpredictable shifts
reflected back to me
in every environment
every Being
I came into contact with
the inescapable cycle of transformation
the inevitability of Loss
hounded my footsteps
I resisted it unbeknownst
of the suffering it created for me.
____
Two months after I turned 11 years old
a bullet took my father from his body.
In my father’s absence
I was exposed to new extremes
of abuse & neglect.
I awakened
to the horrors of human society
& my utter lack of safety in the World
My grief was compounded
by my sense that
God Himself
had abandoned me.
I had been raised to believe in God
trust in His goodwill
& follow His law
Yet He allowed horrific things
to befall my loved ones
to befall Me
to befall the World.
I questioned if “God” even existed.
If He did exist
He would get no praise from me.
My Faith went with my father
& Anger made a new Home in my heart.
This was the Death
of my childhood.
____
Around the age of 14
having eschewed organized religion
identifying myself as a proud Atheist
I discovered Wicca.
Introduced to the idea
of a governing spiritual Force
without judgment or Wrath
Alive in All
I was pleased by the notion
that my Self was Divine
& as Divinity
I too had the ability to Create.
Up until that point
my knowledge of religion
began & ended at Christianity.
My father was raised by Baptists
My mother by Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I was primarily shaped
by my father & grandmother’s Faith.
My mother forsook organized religion
long before I was born.
I took comfort in this new perspective
Rather than being at the mercy of
a wrathful, judgmental God
with a predetermined path for me
I chose the path
fully supported by the Divine Force
of which I was part.
These concepts affirmed my inner-knowing
that there was more to my human existence
than I had been led to believe.
A familiar spark within me
reignited
reminiscent of the flame
I held in my chest as a little
when I experienced visions
that soon came manifest
& heard voices
who lacked a body.
My relatives said
I was “talking to Spirits”.
It was frowned upon for the most part.
Although this concept of Wicca
didn’t entirely resonate with my Heart
it gave me language & perspective
to conceptualize my relationship to Spirit
& my Ability as an embodiment
of The Energy that Creates Worlds.
I had spent my lifetime feeling powerless
& here was my chance to be powerful.
____
My interest in magical practices
led me to ancient Egyptian spirituality
At 15
I began devotion to the goddess Isis.
I performed my first ritual for Her;
A rite of initiation, devotion, & admiration.
As I conducted my ritual
I felt the spark again
This time
it set my Heart aflame.
My practice of devotion to Isis
led me to the discovery of Hoodoo & Obeah
the practices of my stolen African Ancestors.
This way of life
silenced the voice in my chest
that said I was an oddity.
Finally
I had discovered a spiritual practice
that fully matched the song of my Heart.
I did much of my research on social media
joining Hoodoo groups on Facebook & Reddit
where Santa Muerte soon began
to make frequent appearances
A Mexican Folk-Catholic saint
in the form of a female personification
of Death.
More new concepts introduced to my world.
____
Her devotees sang Her praises
for all to observe
the most astonishing tales
of miraculous shifts in circumstance
showers of blessings
newfound abundance
Her children beamed
the light
of their Mother’s Love.
This image of Death
initially struck me with discomfort
Fear & Anger tinted my perspective
of this destructive force.
The Love of Her children
gave me a new color to consider.
This Death was gorgeous
draped in finery
addressed as a Queen
Her miraculous works stood
as a testament to the power of Spirit.
She Loved All
even those who God
turned away.
In All who were deemed worthless
by human society
Santa Muerte saw treasure
Their Lives are the ultimate Gift.
From the perspective of La Santa Muerte
All have equal value
The treasure of Life
The Energy that Creates Worlds
is everything.
The driving force
behind this energy
is Love
A Divine action
the effort of continued Growth
Without Death
Growth is impossible.
She is the Destruction
that makes space for Newness
the womb that alchemizes Life
the Home to which it returns
to be reborn anew.
An agent of Love.
What can this be called
if not Holy?
____
By the age of 17
I proclaimed myself a Hoodoo practitioner.
I began my research into the Santa Muerte
this mysterious, foreboding figure
whose image struck me
with Fear & Awe.
La Santa Muerte appealed to me
as a magnetic, beautiful
womanly figure
who represented the concepts
I most abhorred
as well as those
closest to my Heart.
Our Lady of the Holy Death
the catalyst behind all Life
Fierce protector of those
on the fringes of society
The One who cradles All
in Her loving embrace
is also Loss
Destruction
Devastation & Decay.
“All” includes those
who harm others.
I was compelled to examine
my values
my morality
the angriest parts of my Self
that said some people
should never be Loved
the most frightened parts
that said I should fear Change
& turn my eyes away
from the discomforting Truth
of the inevitable End.
As I continued my research
I came across articles
denouncing Santa Muerte
as a Satanic figure, a “false Idol”
“The Criminal’s Saint”.
A few people had adverse reactions
when I mentioned Santa Muerte.
Either they were spooked
by reminders of Death
or they associated Her image
with narcos, cartels
people who commit heinous crimes
Satan himself.
These differences in perspective
were drastic & confusing.
It occurred to me that people’s perceptions
are colored by their experiences
culture & community.
I could not let anyone else
define who Santa Muerte was
for me
I knew the only “correct” perspective
to apply to my life
is the one that brings peace to my Heart.
____
I was a child without parents
without a Home
seemingly without Love.
Much had been taken from me.
I continued to experience Change
in ways that were painful
undesirable
& irreversible.
I was lost
drowning in my ocean of
Anger & Hurt.
There was little I could do
to silence my pain
so I surrendered.
I followed what I now recognize
as the call of my Spirit
& I was led to the embrace
of the Holy Death.
____
Through my connection
with the Holy Death
my Heart got her wish
a Home
a family
safety
clarity
Love.
As I nurtured my relationship
with my Ancestors
& the Holy Death who united Us
I became reacquainted
with peace, appreciation
& Faith.
My childhood
returned to me.
I believe this union became the basis
of my life’s dramatic changes
from a state
of perpetual suffering to one
of continual thriving.
____
Insights I have gained
through my connection with
La Santa Muerte:
Death is a true ally
mistaken for an enemy
to our severe detriment.
She is reliable.
She is relief.
More often than not,
She is the answer.
Death comes in many forms.
Death is the End & the Beginning
the harbinger of Newness
continued Life.
as Life is destroyed
new Life simultaneously
arises in its place.
Life & Death are married
both necessary for the existence
of the other.
Without Life
there is nothing to Die.
Without Death
there is nothing to cultivate Life.
Death is sacred
Divine.
Death is how
we return Home.
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