a heart beats in my chest and
my lower belly
clenches around the hollow
carved out of the
Life
that grew there

down the drain
with a quart of blood and
shreds of my flayed heart
find their way out
of my mouth and
my eyes and
my hands
shake uncontrollably as i

cradle this cursed body
piloted by
this cursed Mind
a scrap of my
supposedly
beautiful Soul
but

“i” feel like
the ugliest thing
in all Creation and
i resent this Soul
for choosing this Life and
i resent this Self for
the suffering it’s brought
upon others and
me

sabotaged by my own wounds
inflicted by ghosts who
hound my every step
my dreams
my thoughts
my Spirit
my Life