Tag - Emotions
6 posts

self eviscerationfeatured

by solaris on April 5, 2026

Posted in Art, True Self

what is a mind at war

with itself

my Self

fragmented

oozing through the gaps

in my Spirit

a thousand festering wounds

burn through my vessel

through Me,

“the observer”

feels more like

“the victim”

begging for a

permanent end

to the suffering that is

Life

relentless

loss

cruelty

despair

the pressure

of one thing piling

atop another

& another

trying to hold it

together

keep it moving

lest i die or

worse

i break

& the corrosive ichor

that’s seeped through

my Spirit

my Self

spills unto Every Thing

a rot

that burrows deep

& makes a feast

of All that is sacred

to Me,

a thing

still beyond it’s own reach

lost

& at war with itself.

cyclical despairfeatured

by solaris on March 16, 2026

Posted in Art, True Self

a heart beats in my chest and
my lower belly
clenches around the hollow
carved out of the
Life
that grew there

down the drain
with a quart of blood and
shreds of my flayed heart
find their way out
of my mouth and
my eyes and
my hands
shake uncontrollably as i

cradle this cursed body
piloted by
this cursed Mind
a scrap of my
supposedly
beautiful Soul
but

“i” feel like
the ugliest thing
in all Creation and
i resent this Soul
for choosing this Life and
i resent this Self for
the suffering it’s brought
upon others and
me

sabotaged by my own wounds
inflicted by ghosts who
hound my every step
my dreams
my thoughts
my Spirit
my Life

Inner City Blues – A Black Child’s Lamentfeatured

by solaris on January 27, 2026

Posted in True Self

The hood exists because of white supremacist imperialism. Violence in the hood is a result of white supremacist imperialism.

It is an intentionally manufactured breeding ground for prison-slave labor, sex-slave labor, & continued subjugation of Stolen African descendants.

The deaths of my loved ones were by design. My trauma is by design.

I don’t think I will ever be free of the pain.

Coping When Subjected to Violence: A Conjurer’s Perspectivefeatured

by solaris on July 9, 2025

Posted in True Self

Whether it’s an overtly spiritual practice such as Conjure or Christianity, or a subtly spiritual practice, such as daily expressions of creativity or moments of connection with our environment, we need habits that allow us to maintain a bond with our Innermost Self.

It is the only part of us that can grant the peace we need to take action that will lead us—and all around us—in the direction of growth.

When It’s All Too Muchfeatured

by solaris on May 22, 2024

Posted in True Self

The ins and outs of participation in human society continue to confuse and surprise me. Sometimes, the thought of merely existing on this plane makes me uncomfortable. These past few months have felt like I’ve been wandering, drifting, sometimes seen and sometimes not. I have a vague idea of what my destination is and Read more

When You Feel Lostfeatured

by solaris on December 1, 2023

Posted in Channelled Message, True Self

Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of confusion, grief, & anger amidst this experience of human life. Of course, I exist outside of these feelings as well; I still find plenty reminders for joy, love & appreciation.

However, the one constant beneath it all, & perhaps the reason I keep bouncing between the extremes of emotion, is a hounding sense of aimlessness.