When Systemic Violence Invokes Despairfeatured
Today, a woman in my city was slain by a federal agent.
She was shot to death.
Four days ago, my government dropped bombs on Venezuela.
This past Christmas, my country’s leader sent bombs to Nigeria as “a Christmas present”.
Social media provides constant news out of Palestine, Congo, and Sudan.
On the Internet, I am made painfully aware of numerous other large & small scale injustices happening across the globe.
As I am digesting this news, I am mourning, working, parenting, living, and behind me, the mountain of bad news grows never ending.
For every year of my life and every year before that, there has been a collection of tragedies in the world at any given second.
I’ve experienced my share of these tragedies. I’ve witnessed even more. Every day, I learn of new ones. Every day, I know more will happen.
Crying is a daily occurrence for me. I can’t ignore the pain & I don’t want to. On the bright side, I know how to take care of my sadness now.
For all I’ve learned about globalization and capitalism, it’s done little to help me cope with the consequences of it upon my life, other lives, & our Earth.
I try to lighten my heart by contributing to my community, creating and engaging with art, giving my mind time to rest, and remembering the good in the world.
I know that when I take time to share Love with the world through my Spirit and my actions, it makes a difference.
And still, there are times when it’s too much, I have doubts, I feel fear & despair.
I know this is my humanity showing.
I am surrounded by threats, so I am afraid.
I’m reminded of suffering at every turn, so I weep.
Looking upon a scary world and lacking a realistic vision for the process of building a better one leaves me feeling doubtful about the future.
I’m grateful for my practice of Conjure, because Ancestors know these feelings all too well.
They faced this monster when they were less equipped than I am now, and they changed the world for their children.
When I’m feeling the vulnerability of being human, Ancestors remind me of my strength as Spirit. Our strength.
When I fear for the future, Ancestors remind me that my actions shape the future. Their actions shaped my future.
I know my Ancestors are not the only ones.
The horrors of Empire span thousands of years, touching every piece of land.
Yet, we are here. We have the gift of time and a Spirit to shape our future with.
As irrational as it may seem, I feel hopeful about The Future. Both my future and generations after.
Because I am committed to a life of co-creating a world that is safe to live in. For everyone.
Fear reminds me that the only world we deserve to live in is one that is free of violence & exploitation.
Despair reminds me that I need to engage with life and take action to have hope.
For the sake of my mental stability, I must believe in the dedication of my Self and my collaborators to our survival through the end of Empire.
Because that’s what this is. The final dance of an old world in all it’s “glory”.
This ugliness is all it’s ever been.
Unfortunately for us, this monstrosity is determined to go down swinging.
We will continue to see death and suffering. We will experience our own suffering.
We need each other to get through this.
We need to be thinking about how we survive & what happens after.
Because we can survive.
& We take those who leave this world behind into our future;
our Love for them empowers us to keep creating the world they deserved—
that we all deserve.
